Germany thrashed Argentina 4-0 in a match that saw Argentina chasing the game from the 2nd minute, when Müller opened the scoring for the Germans.

The one-sided scoreline, as well as the utter inability of the Argentines to create clear chances throughout the match, underscore the tactical inadequacies of the Argentine side, who had been untested up to this point in the World Cup.

The main culprit: Maradona, of course. Having called up the ridiculous amount of players (over 100) in the 2 years before this tournament, he failed to create any semblance of a solid midfield to support his stellar forwards.

Indeed, the increasingly washed-out Maxi Rodríguez has been quite disappointing for the past 2 or 3 years. Let go by Atlético, where he had long ago lost his place in the team, he moved to Liverpool, where he again failed to show any compelling reason to be in the first team this season. Once a pacy winger, he showed many of the signs of a player once reliant on his speed; now, he certainly is past his physical peak and struggling to find a new identity as a player. Nothing showing in this match.

In Mascherano, Argentina had a battler, albeit one known to lose his head increasingly in frustration. At Liverpool, he is well regarded by the fans and teammates, but showed his limited depth in the past two seasons, lacking any constructive vision beyond his break-up play, and often getting his team in trouble by mouthing off to refs and making foolish challenges.

Against Germany, the trio of Messi-Higuaín-Tévez, brilliant as it is, was completely isolated. As early as the 20th minute, we say Messi tracking back to left back just to get a touch on the ball. There was zero supply and zero possession from the Argentine midfield, and the result was resorting to alienated long-balls and individual actions by the forwards. And it fell more than flat against a disciplined German defense.

Even in its weak moments, the lack of support from midfield damaged any Argentine hopes of scoring.

Maradona’s team was without ideas, without help in the middle, where the Germans completely dominated via Schweinsteiger, Khedira, and Müller. This made the job of the outstanding Boateng even easier, snuffing out Argentina’s left side on attack, and Friedrich had little to do at right back.

In the end, it was a game for players like European champion Inter Milan’s Esteban Cambiasso, a holding midfielder capable of constructing the flow of the game, inexplicably overlooked by a stubborn, caricaturized Maradona. Nor was there any room on this team for the ageless Javier Zanetti, outstanding this season for Inter, as experienced a right back as any, and also an accomplished attacker. Not even a consideration for Gago, the young Real Madrid midfielder who showed tremendous growth this season, finally beginning to fulfill his potential. And not a mention for Ever Banega, the Valencia creative midfielder who had an excellent season in Spain.

Instead, Maradona preferred to focus on picking a seemingly random bunch of players, including the over-the-hill Juan Sebastián Verón and Martín Palermo, and showed faith in some very inconsistent, shaky defenders such as Demechelis and the erratic Heinze.

In addition, he focused on his own clownish antics more than that on tactics. Let’s face it: Argentina’s 2010 campaign was less about the players and more about Maradona giving cameras a clear view of his about-to-burst suit trousers, celebrating every goal like it was the last in Argentina’s cup (little did he know). By failing to step back and recognize his team’s weaknesses, and delving deeply into his incorrigeable ego, it was ultimately the team that was hurt.

The 4-0 should, at the very least, go a long way in showing Argentina the mistakes made in their World Cup campaign, beginning with the appointment of a man not fit to be the manager of a serious national team.

The most telling anecdote: Maradona furiously refused to sit down at a press conference after a friendly match with Germany in January, upon seeing Müller seated at the press table. He angrily declared that Germany had sent this “ballboy” to insult him. Now the ballboy has given him the ultimate response on the field in Cape Town.

Argentina 1- Nigeria 0

Earlier I predicted Maradona’s second coming: “Maradona comes on, taking advantage of an archaic and little-known FIFA loophole, smoking a cigar that Fidel gave him, and scores a hat-trick: one with his left pinky, and the other two from free kicks deep in his own half.”

Sadly, this did not happen, though, as Amy Lawrence at the Guardian points out, he was, to a great extent the center of attention (the fashionistas amongst us would have noted his spiffy suit, interestingly buttoned only at the bottom button, in a nod to Southeast Asian style [?]).

The match itself was a slight improvement over the South Korea- Greece from earlier, which tasted even more bitter given my early rising for the occasion. Nonetheless, Argentina looked more than sloppy, and while Nigeria were shambolic, they could have even nabbed a goal or two had they not been so dreadful anywhere near the opposing area. The Argentines will have to solidify things before the second round to stand a chance.

Anthem Ratings

Another disappointment, as the two national anthems sounded like they were from some early 90’s Nintendo sports game, though the positive angle was that it certainly brought back fond memories of playing “Ice Hockey” with my little brother. Call it another Draw.

Politically Correct Pick

This win would have to go to Argentina, who, though far from being 100% perfect in the eyes of GooHLs (Good Honest Liberals), have at the very least elected a woman president despite their history of repressive dictatorship (and winning the ‘78 World Cup under those circumstances). Nigeria might have a way to go, not least because of the steady stream of ridiculously stupid scam emails that I receive daily from within their borders.

Ewe Ess A 1 — Perfidious Albion 1

At last, an interesting tie in this World Cup, not only for its political background but also for the fact that it was a reasonably attractive fixture.

Now for more important things…

Vuvuezala Watch

The maddening drone must slowly become integrated into my consciousness, as when I left the house to pick up a twelve pack, my subconscious felt like it was being pursued by a metaphorical horde of devil-wasps from Hell.

Anthem Ratings

“God Save the Queen” is as hard an act as there is to follow. However, several factors unbeknowst to me sucked out some of the oomph normally provided by the Ingerland supporters. The Star Spangled Banner was a firm response, though possibly because it was transmitted with more volume by the American broadcast.