Germany thrashed Argentina 4-0 in a match that saw Argentina chasing the game from the 2nd minute, when Müller opened the scoring for the Germans.

The one-sided scoreline, as well as the utter inability of the Argentines to create clear chances throughout the match, underscore the tactical inadequacies of the Argentine side, who had been untested up to this point in the World Cup.

The main culprit: Maradona, of course. Having called up the ridiculous amount of players (over 100) in the 2 years before this tournament, he failed to create any semblance of a solid midfield to support his stellar forwards.

Indeed, the increasingly washed-out Maxi Rodríguez has been quite disappointing for the past 2 or 3 years. Let go by Atlético, where he had long ago lost his place in the team, he moved to Liverpool, where he again failed to show any compelling reason to be in the first team this season. Once a pacy winger, he showed many of the signs of a player once reliant on his speed; now, he certainly is past his physical peak and struggling to find a new identity as a player. Nothing showing in this match.

In Mascherano, Argentina had a battler, albeit one known to lose his head increasingly in frustration. At Liverpool, he is well regarded by the fans and teammates, but showed his limited depth in the past two seasons, lacking any constructive vision beyond his break-up play, and often getting his team in trouble by mouthing off to refs and making foolish challenges.

Against Germany, the trio of Messi-Higuaín-Tévez, brilliant as it is, was completely isolated. As early as the 20th minute, we say Messi tracking back to left back just to get a touch on the ball. There was zero supply and zero possession from the Argentine midfield, and the result was resorting to alienated long-balls and individual actions by the forwards. And it fell more than flat against a disciplined German defense.

Even in its weak moments, the lack of support from midfield damaged any Argentine hopes of scoring.

Maradona’s team was without ideas, without help in the middle, where the Germans completely dominated via Schweinsteiger, Khedira, and Müller. This made the job of the outstanding Boateng even easier, snuffing out Argentina’s left side on attack, and Friedrich had little to do at right back.

In the end, it was a game for players like European champion Inter Milan’s Esteban Cambiasso, a holding midfielder capable of constructing the flow of the game, inexplicably overlooked by a stubborn, caricaturized Maradona. Nor was there any room on this team for the ageless Javier Zanetti, outstanding this season for Inter, as experienced a right back as any, and also an accomplished attacker. Not even a consideration for Gago, the young Real Madrid midfielder who showed tremendous growth this season, finally beginning to fulfill his potential. And not a mention for Ever Banega, the Valencia creative midfielder who had an excellent season in Spain.

Instead, Maradona preferred to focus on picking a seemingly random bunch of players, including the over-the-hill Juan Sebastián Verón and Martín Palermo, and showed faith in some very inconsistent, shaky defenders such as Demechelis and the erratic Heinze.

In addition, he focused on his own clownish antics more than that on tactics. Let’s face it: Argentina’s 2010 campaign was less about the players and more about Maradona giving cameras a clear view of his about-to-burst suit trousers, celebrating every goal like it was the last in Argentina’s cup (little did he know). By failing to step back and recognize his team’s weaknesses, and delving deeply into his incorrigeable ego, it was ultimately the team that was hurt.

The 4-0 should, at the very least, go a long way in showing Argentina the mistakes made in their World Cup campaign, beginning with the appointment of a man not fit to be the manager of a serious national team.

The most telling anecdote: Maradona furiously refused to sit down at a press conference after a friendly match with Germany in January, upon seeing Müller seated at the press table. He angrily declared that Germany had sent this “ballboy” to insult him. Now the ballboy has given him the ultimate response on the field in Cape Town.

Ivory Coast- Brazil

Well, I am comprehensively disappointed by the match I was most looking forward to this weekend.

On paper, and judging from a solid performance against Portugal and a questionable Brazilian performance against North Korea, there were high expectations for this match, with Ivory Coast rightfully being touted as the Great Hope for Africa.

Nevertheless, from the get-go things looked dim, with master of underachievement Sven Goran Eriksson opting to start Gervinho, easily the best Ivorian against Portugal, on the bench. What’s more, we were surprised again by the presence of a midfielder like Zokora in the middle of the defense.

The match was absolutely toothless at the outset, with the Ivorians content to let their rivals do whatever they wanted. A good goal put them 1-0 down, and a ridiculous 2nd by Luis Fabiano, which should have been whistled out twice, virtually sealed it.

On said play, the Brazilian handled the ball, not once, but twice, in the same play, in clear view of the ref and his linesmen. Amazingly, the French official seemed to tease Luis Fabiano after the goal for having used his hands to control. Intentional or not, the goal should not have stood; his arms were above his head in both instances, thus rendering the ball dead and a free kick for the other team.

Overall the standard of officiating was extremely poor, not only allowing such a goal but also permitting shameless gamesmanship from the Brazilians, and later, horrific tackling from the Ivorians. We hope that Elano is not seriously injured, as the challenge that took him out of the game was enough to break my leg just from seeing it. Same goes for Michel Bastos, whose ankle was ironed out shortly after.

In the end, Kaká, dismal except for a combined total of 1 minute in this tournament (fortunately for Brazil that total minute led to two assists, one permitted by nonexistent defending), was sent off, helped by some Ivorian acting. Somebody must have shown them Rivaldo’s 2002 performance.

The match leaves a bad taste in the mouth, unless you are Brazilian and don’t care about anything besides Brazil winning.

Not only has the officiating question continued to taint this World Cup (changes NOW please!) but the Ivorians were atrociously dire. No fire, no energy, nothing at all besides a lay-down-and-die attitude from the very beginning.

As far as the officiating, I am ready for some basketball-style interventions. I am sick of the idea that football is some pure structure that mustn’t be tainted by any technology. Do we forget that the rules of this game have been modified hundreds of times since its inception? Why should we not take measures to ensure a more just contest?

We take for granted relatively “young” rules such as offsides, yet couldn’t bear the thought of instant replay. We complain that it would slow down the game, yet people won’t entertain something similar to a shot clock to cut down on the rampant time-wasting every time a team uses a small eternity to execute a throw-in or goal kick. Of course, bad calls will always happen (the NCAA Final Four is a good example), but I would love to see changes made for the good of the sport. At least in the NCAA Basketball Tournament we don’t see disgraceful gamesmanship, time-wasting, cynical fouling, and petulance towards offcials, because such actions are not tolerated, and furthermore, a careful system of referring balance ensures that such elements are at least minimized.

Italy “Falls” Against New Zealand

While a dramatic match, I believe that the commentators in general have lost sight of a couple of things.

1. Italy could have lost and STILL go through, if they beat Slovakia.

2. Slovakia have been abysmal and I fancy Italy won’t be too troubled by them, even if they do park the bus. What’s more, there is the possibility of Italy drawing and still going through if Paraguay beat New Zealand. This latter possibility seems strong considering the effort expended by the “Kiwis”. What’s more, Slovakia is currently a contender for dullest team in the tournament.

Lastly, how many times does the ESPN commentator have to say “The flightless Kiwis have taken flight” before being silenced by his own ironies?

Sacre bleu!

The unprecedented walkout on their own training by the French squad has made for great entertainment. The footage out there shows the French physical trainer throwing his badge in anger after being informed by Patrice Evra that the team refused to train in protest of Anelka’s firing.

Most entertainingly, a French journalist, L’Équipe’s Erik Bielderman, reported, LIVE on ESPN, what Anelka really said to Domenech, in a thick French accent: “he said to him go fuck himself, you son of a bitch.”

Saturday

Unsurprising results all around, though many would have fancied Ghana to defeat a 10-man Australia.

Which brings up the question: why on Earth would anybody include Harry Kewel in their squad? Was his 20-odd minute cameo scripted, as it is hard to remember him every playing more than 20 minutes in any match, ever.

National Anthem Battles

Finally some interesting anthem contests have come up. The Serbia-Ghana matchup featured two of the better anthems we’ve seen so far. Though the Ghanaians might have won the actual match, I give the edge to the Serbs with a somewhat sinister-toned national anthem that perhaps carries over some notes from the crazy times of civil war. Ghana’s was a close contender, though they lost some points for sounding too much like Germany’s “Deutschland, Deutschland”.

Australia vs. Germany: The Australians started off weakly with a piece that sounded like it was off the soundtrack of Titanic 2, before the vocals kicked in and almost saved it for them. The Germans, despite some umph being removed from their anthem due to some post-WWII forced lyrical edits, ended up on top as they always do (or so the stereotypes say). Puzzling considering some of the horror material out there–the Marseillaise to give one example (that line about  “may an impure blood / water our furrows” is rather scintillating). My decision here might also be based on the fact that the Australian anthem was not, in the end, “Waltzing Matilda,” currently a hit on youTube and with my 2 year-old.

Other Kinds of Matches

The Holland-Denmark match, regardless of its result costing me a bloody fortune, was anticlimatic to say the least. One expected a contest worthy of the Laudrups and the Cruyffs and instead was handed, well, a footballing slog of Bendtners and Van Bommels. If they weren’t still alive, the aforementioned legends would roll over in their grave and root for Germany. A comical own-goal sealed the fate of a hapless Denmark, who had less ideas than they did natural brunettes.

A major reason this match promised so much before it actually occured was considering the history of the total-footballing Dutch sides. There was once a time when they thrilled the world and reached all the big finals. In the past few tournaments though (‘98, ‘02, ‘06, and especially in Euros 2004 and 2008) they stormed through the group stages like banshees. Who could forget how they thrashed the Group of Death in 2008, beating world champ Italy 3-0 and making them look like an amateur team from a pasta factory. Then tearing World Cup runner-up France a new one 4-1, while making them look like [insert stereotype here] a local bakery Sunday team.

The Japan-Cameroon, while a great match, reinforced stereotypes about the Japanese being lightweights and the Cameroonians being hapless despite possessing an island of world-class football in a player like Eto’o. In the end, there were enough dramatics to satsify, with exhausted Japanese players looking like they were playing a man down, while Cameroonians used their cliché superior athleticism to knock balls too far in front of themselves. I could imagine what Eto’o might have been thinking: “Cameroon needs 10 more Eto’os”.

And finally, no surprises in the Italy vs. Paraguay. The Paraguayans seem to enjoy their self-made image of utterly empty football based on defending in numbers and hoping that the opponents’ shots hit off of one of their ten defenders and out of play. Despite this, an early goal set up some dramatics made worse by the “typical” Italian slow-motion start to the World Cup. Of course, in the end, those darn Italians did what everybody knew they would do, and tied the game, then nearly won it, while playing shite football.

Tomorrow, Tomorrow, Things Can Only Get Better, Tomorrow

One awaits the result of the miracle surgery of Drogba. Surely, his reappearance after a broken arm would rank up there with the return from the dead of Garrincha in the 2002 Brazilian™ run to the title. Portugal, meanwhile, after nearly a decade of  persistent “Golden Generation” rhetoric, seem to have assembled a squad of also-rans and ineffective forwards, plus the Poutiest Lipped Footballer of All Time™ Cristiano Ronaldo, whom the Madrid press still tout as the “Best in the World” despite being shown up by Lionel Messi approximately 20 times in the past 2 seasons at various competitions.

And finally, in the ultimate battle between Southern Hemisphere capitalism and North Korean communism, we have the old dogs of Brazil featuring one of their least Brazilian teams ever (only 2 of their squad are Brazil-based). They take on, well, North Korea, about whom little is known besides the fact that April 25th is the date of the founding of their military, as well as the military team that their manager also manages (not to mention a number of their players). That, and their intriguing star, Jong Tae-Se, who despite being known as the “People’s Rooney” back home would rather be like the aforementioned Zombie Drogba.

In Germany, some things haven’t changed. Despite the commercialization of the global game, players’ multi-million Euro contracts, and the increasing importance of clubs as global brands, to Germans, their national team is something that remains sacred beyond these factors. As I experienced first-hand during the last World Cup, nationalism is never as widespread and accepted in Germany as it is when the national team is playing. Suddenly, it was okay for people to carry flags, including on their cars, and be patriotic, something most Germans usually do with a reluctant embarrassment that almost naturally comes along with even a minor degree of historical awareness.

This high standing enjoyed by the national team is explained by its history. Indeed, its impact on German post-war history cannot be underestimated. The 1954 upset win in the final over Hungary gave a country under reconstruction something to identify with, and titles have followed in roughly a 20-year rhythm since. Expectations for South Africa are correspondingly high.

As a result, the high degree of popular identification with the team allows the German team and staff to prepare for the World Cup in ways unheard of in other countries. With the support of most Bundesliga coaches and teams (Bayern’s Louis van Gaal continues to be the noteworthy exception) behind a unified preparation plan for South Africa, Bundestrainer Jogi Löw is able to gather his candidates for national team workouts and tests during the week, while they return to their clubs on the weekends. Following all possible German stereotypes, no detail is left unplanned. By the end of a press conference with the team staff it appears as if those World Cup matches would not even have to be played anymore.

A 30-player strong selection met last week to absolve a preliminary fitness test for the World Cup. Their data was meticulously evaluated and a decision was made to add some new younger players to the team. It is January! Yet, some players have already been told that they will not be able to participate in the World Cup, notably Thorsten Frings. Additionally, it has been announced that the decision on the goalkeeper position (much more competitive than usual with Rene Adler, Manuel Neuer, Tim Wiese, and Jörg Butt all in good form) will be made before the friendly with Argentina on March 3.

However, some things have changed. The performance-based screening of candidates introduced by Jürgen Klinsmann before the last World Cup has led to a youthful renewal of the national team. This time, it is very likely that along with the youth there will arrive an even stronger emphasis on players whose names you would not necessarily have expected to see on the back of a German jersey in the past. This is a visible result of the post-war immigration influx, which has diversified the historically homogeneous German population to the point where every fifth German citizen now has what is referred to in the German media as a Migrationshintergrund (literally: a migratory background).

Regarding the national team, Jerome Boateng, Serdar Tasci, Sami Khedira, and Mesut Özil are all young players (22 or younger; these guys make Lukas Podolski look like a veteran) who are strong candidates for a final squad which is likely to also include players like Mario Gomez and Kevin Kuranyi. Even Lukas Podolski and Miroslav Klose were born in Poland. In short, the kind of nationalism developing around this team will be interesting to observe.

A successful articulation of national pride associated with the Nationalmannschaft, and we can be sure there will be lots of attempts, would almost have to be framed as a celebration of diversity. However, taking into account the necessarily exclusive character of any nationalist expression, the question then becomes how the German fan would differentiate his identifying myth from those of other nations. Around what attributes would this demarcation be articulated? For example, will there be a need to create a non-diverse ‘other’, from, let’s say, Serbia, Australia or even Ghana (Germany’s opponents in Group play)?

To say the least, German expression of support for the team will almost certainly be more inclusive and tolerant than it has been in the past, when TV commentators routinely emphasized so-called ‘typical German virtues’ , such as superior physical strength and mental focus, as key factors for victories over other teams. Even if the occasional neo-Nazi fan, who you still encounter with some regularity in stadiums and at public viewing events, chooses to use his remaining brain cells to cheer on Bastian Schweinsteiger and Per Mertesacker, it will be difficult for him to ignore the abilities of the ‘other ‘ Germans.

The past weekend in football gave us Brits who were deciding the Premier League winner after four games, Germans are trying to come up with names for their spectacular new Bayern Munich attack (see Raphael Honigstein’s “Baylacticos” article in the Guardian), Italians hoping for a level playing field in the post-calciopoli.

That being said, the only team showing signs of competing with Inter, so far, are Juventus, who thumped Roma 1-3 in Rome thanks in part to Brazilian Diego’s explosion onto the Serie A scene.

Sid Lowe's column on Guardian Football

If you don’t follow German football on a regular basis, you might be surprised to see Wolfsburg in the UEFA Champions League this year. Before last season’s surprise run, Wolfsburg was mostly known for being the global headquarters of Volkswagen. Not only have they never played a big role in the Bundesliga, they weren’t on anyone’s list as title contender for much of last season. The Bundesliga already had its surprise team of the season at the halfway point, when newcomers Hoffenheim were on top of the table after 17 games. Bayern Munich was supposed to be their only serious contender.

But when both Hoffenheim and Bayern dramatically collapsed, the latter firing their coach Juergen Klinsmann shortly before the end of the season, Wolfsburg appeared out of nowhere to take the lead. While it is true that many things had to come together for them to win the Meisterschaft, it would be wrong to assume that it was just luck.

Have you ever wondered why Bosnia-Herzegovina is in second place in Group 5 of the European qualification for the 2010 World Cup? Okay, you probably have better things to do with your life, especially if you’re not Bosnian… or Herzegovinese (which is even more unlikely). But the answer to that question actually partly explains the mystery of Wolfsburg’s success. It is mostly related to two names: Edin Dzeko and Zvjezdan Misimovic. Yes, Zvjezdan! When your first name starts with three consonants, you know that either your parents were drunk when they filled out your birth certificate or you were born somewhere in the Balkans…

When Wolfsburg beat Stuttgart 2-0 in the opening game of this year’s Bundesliga season on Friday night, it was Misimovic who opened the score with a beautiful shot from about 18 meters into the top corner. Misimovic is Wolfsburg’s attacking midfielder and playmaker. In Bosnia’s national team he occupies much the same role, playing a crucial part in their two upset wins over Belgium last April. Alright, it was Belgium… but they used to be good!

As far as Edin Dzeko is concerned, his goal scoring record speaks for itself: 26 goals in the Bundesliga last season, 7 goals in 6 qualifying matches for Bosnia-Herzegovina. Together these guys make up 2/3 of Wolfsburg’s attack, with Misimovic playing behind the two strikers.

But Wolfsburg wouldn’t be champions, if their attack wasn’t completed by last year’s Bundesliga top scorer and player of the year, the man whose name sounds like bad street art: Grafite! (Edinaldo Batista Líbano is not that much better though, so I understand his choice)

Whenever you come even close to beating Gerd Mueller’s record for goals per minutes played in a Bundesliga season, more people should know about you. Brazil’s national team, of course, doesn’t even need him to win the World Cup next year. Plus, they have seen him play for a decade in Brazil. He even won the FIFA World Club Championship with Sao Paulo in 2005, but nobody cares about that competition in Europe. So to most people it was a big surprise when he scored 28 goals last season and was part of the most successful scoring duo in Bundesliga history (54 goals between him and Dzeko).

Grafite’s most memorable goal of the season was scored against Bayern Munich, out of all teams. Don’t try this at home, or if you absolutely have to, only if you’re leading 4-1:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZSuiI9WY2uY

In the plausible case that your German is less than fluent and you are struck by the random mention of the name JayJay Okocha, the commentator is referring to his goal for Frankfurt against Karlsruhe, surely one of the best in Bundesliga history, and conceptually similar to this one. For now, Grafite’s piece of art was voted goal of the year by whatever authority determines these things in Germany.

Considering that Wolfsburg was able to keep their Brazilo-Bosnian attacking combo, the team seems entirely capable of surprising Germany once again, and maybe even Europe. It appears less likely that Bosnia-Herzegovina will beat Brazil in the World Cup next year. But stranger things have happened…